How many times have you thought "if I only knew if he was alright with the way I took care of him at the end, I wish I could tell her I love her one more time, hold her one more time and feel her warmth. Is he or she proud of me?"
These are all questions we ask that can help us heal in the wake of the trauma.
We live in angst waiting to see a sign, feel a hand on our shoulder, smell the scent of their perfume, cigar or their favorite flower. But, do we pay attention to it or write it off as a coincidence? We only do this because we can't see them. Just think about this for a minute. When you send a text, do you see it go to your friend? Does the picture of the baby reach its grandmother when you text it? How could that be? I didn't see it happen, but you know it did. So why, why do so many people just write off a sign from a loved one just because we didn't see him create it.
I recently told a client during a reading that her son was mentioning the song 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow', the client acknowledged it was "their song", something I would have never know. She was so touched by this and other things I mentioned, that she started to pay more attention and look for his signs. A few weeks later, she was at the hospital visiting a friend and aa woman came into the room with a harp and started to play "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" for them. What are the chances of that happening, pretty slim if you ask her, unless of course your son is sending a message.
Sometimes the grief creeps up on you slowly, only to announce itself in the middle of the grocery store when you see their favorite food, when we worry about the coming holiday without him or her and just bust out in uncontrollable crying. It happens to us all.
How does a child get over the loss of a parent? Well, we really never get over it, but we learn to deal with it in as healthy a way as possible.